*****Please help! nobody ever answers my questions.******?

Ever since I was born my parents had high hopes for me.. Especially my mom. Sue stopped going to college and was a stay at home my whole life. Sue tried to get me into doing many sports, make friends... Everything. And now I'm gonna be a junior and my grades have dropped significantly. I used to always be a straight A kid until I got to highschool. Everything just got so hard. I have like a 3.3 gpa and i wanna make it to ucsd and my moms basically hopeless and doesn't think I'll make any uc school. All my cles are advanced so it's pretty hard. This upcoming year I'm takin 4 APs so that I can boost my gpa up majorly. Icalculated everything up and if I get all As i think I'll go up to a 4.3 by the time I graduate. Which I'm hoping will help me get into ucsd. My moms been soo depressed lately cuz I suck at school. Well actually eveythibg I've tried.. I've never been good at. I'm basically a huge failure for her. She's been suuper depressed lately and I know it's b/c of ny grades and my dads new job that pays allllot less than b4. My moms dream was always to have a nice house but we've lived in an apt our whole lives. I'm trying to study and do better but it's never enough for my parents. This entire summer has been hell for me. I've been taking us history and a sat prep cl. My mom got even more depressed when she found out I improved my PSAT score by only lke 25 points. I dunno what to say and do anymore. I was doing her eyebrows today and lke out of no where she started crying and saying what I was gonna do with my life and where she went wrong. I just left the room. She's always told me I was good for nothing and blames me for her being depressed. I just don't kno what to do when she says that stuff. I think I'm a little depressed too after hearing her countless remarks to me for turning out to be such a disgrace. Everyday she taunts me about how ugly fat and stupid I am.. And I know it's out of her frustration but it hurts so bad. Whenever I try tellig her how much it effects my self esteem she says the truth hurts and in too weak. Please help me. Sometimes I feel lke suicide would be the best option even tho I know gof gave this life as a gift and it would hurt my family too much .. But I honestly feel lke living is just making it worse. What should ido when my mom says stuff to me like that? How do I help her and myself. To tell u the truth i don't think i can get all As this year an I'm gonna end up disappointing my parents even more.